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 7 
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"'Mummy, when I grow up and get married, will I have a husband like Dad ?'"
"'Yes dear.'"
"'Or, if I don't get married, will I end up like Aunt Maud ?'"
"'Yes dear.'"
"#'Bloody Hell, I am in a mess.'"
""
"The little girl was watching her mother at her beauty ritual."
"'Mummy, what is that cream stuff you are putting on your face ?'"
"'This is to make Mummy beautiful, darling.'"
"#'Well, why isn't it ?'"
"After reading a book on child psychology, a mother was convinced of the"
"  soundness of the 'hold them on a loose rein' theory."
"One Sunday meal-time when her young son was not eating, she asked him:"
" 'So what would you like to eat ?'"
" 'A worm from out the garden.'"
"So the mother fetched a worm."
" 'Not like that!  A nice hairy one.'"
"So the mother fetched a hairy caterpiller."
" 'And now I want it cooked'"
"This was done."
"  'And now mummy, you must eat half.'"
" g-u-u-lll- p!   U-r-g-hhh!"
"#  'That's the half I wanted !"
""
"'My dad drives so fast he leaves his work at five and is home by ten past.'"
""
"'That's nothing. My dad is the boss. He drives very fast. They stop work"
"#  at his place at five, and he is home by a quarter to.'"
"'Why has your tummy grown so fat, mummy?'"
"'Let me explain .. You see, daddy has given me a little baby.'"
"The child ran to her father. 'Daddy, daddy, did you give mummy"
"  a little baby ?'"
"'yes  .. er  .. er ..'"
"#'Well she's gone and eaten it.'"
""
"'What are your drawing, dear ?'"
"'A picture of God.'"
"'But nobody knows what God looks like, dear.'"
"#'They will when I've finished.'"
"A woman was herding a bunch of excited children from a car park"
"  towards the beach."
"'My,' said a dear old lady who had stopped to watch them, 'What lively"
"  children. Are they all yours or is it a picnic ?'"
"'They are all mine, and it's no picnic !'"
""
"#(There are 26 jokes in this category in JOKEMASTER TWO)"
"@"